The Crazy Lady
by Maki-Hieki
Summary: A new person? A new member? A new lover in Excel's life? Maybe. (Rated R for future chapters, filled with lemony goodness) (Chapter 6 is up)
1. The Crazy Lady

He stared at the ceiling waiting for his two agents to come, to start the meeting. The lights flickered on, after hearing the slight thud of shoes landing on the floor. He looked straight ahead, seeing a gold haired woman, strutting proudly into the room, followed by a swaying dark blue haired woman, a small trickle of blood flowing down her chin.  
  
"HAIL, IL PALAZZO!" They said in slight unision, the dark blue haired woman falling down in a dead faint.  
  
"AHHH!! HA-CHAN!" The gold haired woman went to "Ha-chan"'s side, trying to resurerect her.  
  
"'S no good... She's...dead... again..."  
  
"Agent Excel!" He said, looking at the gold hair woman, standing up, glancing at the blue haired woman, who was slowly standing up.  
  
"Yessir?" Excel replied, saluting him. He nodded slightly to her, watching her blush with joy.  
  
"Agent Excel, I would like you to meet your new member..." He grasped a blue rope, that suddenly dropped to his side.  
  
"AHHH!!! SIR!" Excel jumped up, running in place. Il Palazzo pulled the rope, a door opening on the floor. Excel whimpered, slowly opening her eyes, looking to her right, glancing at Hyatt, who looked to her left, looking in between them. A figure arose from the pit in the floor, black hair hiding its face.  
  
"Ooo..." Excel in amazement.  
  
"Agents! Meet your new member!" The figure raised its head, a grey eye looking at Il Palazzo, menacingly, her other eye, stylishly cut to cover it.  
  
"Hail..." The member raised its hand slightly.  
  
"Wow... Welcome! I'm Excel Excel! But, you may call me Excel for short!" The new member looked at Excel, and smirked.  
  
"I'm Liana. Pleased to meet you Senior Excel."  
  
"My name is Hyatt, Miss Liana. It's a pleasure to meet you." Liana turned around, and gasped, seeing the blood from Hyatt's lips. Excel tapped her shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry... That happens all the time... So does that..." Excel said, sighing, watching Hyatt fall to the floor. Liana chuckled slightly, turning her attention back to Il Palazzo, one grey eye looking at him.  
  
"Agent Liana, I want you to follow Agents Excel and Hyatt on their newest mission, operation H 2554881186281." Liana raised her showing eyebrow, chucking slightly again.  
  
"Yes, sir." She nodded. Excel blinked at Liana, then blushed slightly, feeling herself getting excited all of a sudden.  
  
"Excel!" Il Palazzo exclaimed. Excel quickly turned her attention to him.  
  
"Yes, Lord Il Palazzo, sir?" He smiled at her again.  
  
"Take good care of Liana..." She nodded, and turned around, then screamed.  
  
"HAIL, LORD IL PALAZZO!" She yelled, falling down the pit. Liana dropped to her knees, and looked down the pit, blinking slightly.  
  
"Uhm... Was that nessacary, sir?" Liana asked, looking at him. He nodded.  
  
Back at the "secret hideout", Liana slowly set her bag on the floor, looking at the apartment.  
  
"You guys don't have that much food and supplies, huh?" Excel shook her head sadly.  
  
"We didn't get paid our last two jobs, and we were forced to dig for food scraps from trash cans for food." She looked at the funny looking mutt, Menchi, who yelped and cowered.  
  
"Aww... What a cute little doggy..." Liana piped up, picking up Menchi, and petting her. "Well, I can help. I have a stable full time job." Excel felt herself being more comfertable around Liana.  
  
"What do you do?" Excel asked, slowly scooting over to her. Liana looked at her.  
  
"I'm a civil servant. I transferred from America." Excel nodded.  
  
"How about I'll go grocercy shopping when I come home from work tomorrow? I can pick up at least four-hundred dollars, American." Excel's jaw dropped, eyes wide.  
  
"R-Really?" Liana smiled, and nodded.  
  
"Yep. Just make a list, and I'll pick it... Where's Hyatt?" Excel shrieked and raced outside.  
  
"HYAAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!"  
  
Hyatt was laid on the ground in an alleyway, only to be found by Watanabe.  
  
"Ms. Ayasugi!" He picked her up, and looked at her.  
  
"M-Mr. W-Watanabe..." She panted.  
  
"HYYYYYAAAAAAATTT!!!" Excel stormed passed, grabbing Hyatt, and pushing Watanabe away, into the alleyway wall.  
  
"Ah! Senior Excel!" Hyatt smiled.  
  
"Look, if you're gonna dye in some alley, at least tell someone!" They walked back to the apartment, standing in the doorway in awe at the sudden amount of things in the apartment. A small television in the corner, a stero system next to the televison, and a litte figurine of a small dog. Liana was on a stool, putting up a curtain for the window, a box next to her. Excel blushed, seeing Liana's naturally tan skin, as she reached up to fix the curtains, her shirt rising. Liana put her arms down, and stepped off the stool, and looked at the two.  
  
"Welcome back! The movers came by and dropped some stuff off. They'll be back in the morning with the bigger things." Liana tilted her head, smiling. Excel nodded.  
  
"I found Hyatt... She was with some man that found her." Hyatt giggled slightly.  
  
"He is a nice man..." Liana nodded slightly, picking up the box. Excel shivered, seeing Liana's tomboyish ways. Liana's boxers stuck out of her baggy pants slightly. Liana stood up, and walked past them into the bathroom. Excel followed to see what she was doing. Liana was standing in the middle of the small bathroom, and started to put up a shelf, after hammering a few nails in the wall. She put the shelf up, and smiled, pulling off the shower curtain, and putting on a clean, new one. She turned around, and smiled at Excel, surprised.  
  
"You don't mind, do you? I'm just trying to help." Excel shook her head.  
  
"No, I don't mind at all." Excel smiled back. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Night, Liana."  
  
"Night, Excel." Liana waved watching Excel walk away.  
  
The next morning, Excel was awakened by slightly loud talking. She sat up, and looked over to her right, seeing Liana's futon folded up. She blinked, and looked at the door, seeing Liana help a mover man bring in a refridgerator, followed by a stove, and a new counter. Excel blinked, getting up and folding her futon, sighing, smacking Hyatt across the face, so she sould wake up from her coma. Excel walked over to Liana, who was wearing suit pants, and a nice dress shirt, with a matching blue tie.  
  
"Uhm... Liana... Are you going to work now?" Liana jumped slightly, and looked at Excel.  
  
"Yeah... Oh!" She bent down, and picked up two bags. "Here's some breakfast." Liana smiled, and started to walk away.  
  
"I have to go now! I'll see you later." Liana raced down the stairs, then into a blue sports car.  
  
Watanabe sighed, pressing his calculator with one finger, thinking about Ms. Ayasugi.  
  
"Watanabe!" Iwata piped up, slapping the back of Watanabe's back, caushing him to jump.  
  
"GAH! You fool, stop that!" Watanabe growled, glaring at Iwata, who sat back down in his chair, doing his work. The door opened. Dr. Kabapu walked in.  
  
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! I have good news for you."  
  
"Does it involve looking through sewers again, sir?" Matsuya said, not looking from her work.  
  
"Erm, no. The news is, that you, the staff of civil servants, have a new co-worker." Sumiyoshi looked up.  
  
"Is it another robot?" The six people looked at Sumiyoshi.  
  
"OMIGOD, YOU TALKED!" Iwata said, pointing at Sumiyoshi, only to fall to the floor, after being hit in the head with a book. Ropponmatsu One looked at Sumiyoshi.  
  
"Have you just broke free from your shell, Senior Sumiyoshi?" Ropponmatsu Two hopped over to him. "Sumi-chan! You can talk! Wheeee!" Sumiyoshi raised an eyebrow, and sighed.  
  
"Yeah... I could talk... But, writing it out is better..." Sumiyoshi stood up, and walked to another table.  
  
"AND YOU LOST WEIGHT!" Iwata said, swaying slightly, only to get hit with another book.  
  
"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" Dr. Kabapu said, waving his mustache around. He put it back on, clearing his throat.  
  
"Here's your new co-worker..." Dr. Kabapu stood aside, letting Liana come through. She looked around with her grey eye.  
  
"Good morning..." Iwata immedatly stood up, dodging a few incoming books.  
  
"Hello, good looking! I'm Iwata!" Liana yelped, as Iwata took her hands. He smiled at her.  
  
"Soooo.... Can I call you?" Liana raised her eyebrow, and smacked him across the face, sending him flying across the room, leaving an imprint in the wall. Matsuya looked at Liana and grinned, standing up.  
  
"I'm Matsuya. Nice to meet you..." Liana blinked and smiled.  
  
"I'm Liana. Nice to meet you." Dr. Kabapu smiled, then left, closing the door. After all the handshakes, Liana was sitting down, doing work, when Iwata slunk up behind her.  
  
"I said no, Iwata..." Iwata whimpered, and walked back to his desk.  
  
"So, Liana... Where'd you come from?" Watanabe asked, glancing at her.  
  
"I came from America.."  
  
"Is it nice there?" Sumiyoshi asked, writing something down, before looking at Liana.  
  
"It depends on where you live... If you live up north you have four seasons. Spring, summer, fall, and winter. In the south, you only have two. Summer and fall."  
  
"So...where do you live now?" Iwata asked, looking at her. Liana grinned, holding a pair of scissors, snipping them slightly.  
  
"Iwata..." She smirked, winking at him. He smiled, and walked over to her. She pulled him close, holding him by his collar, opening the scissors, holding them to his throat, slowly dragging them down to his pants.  
  
"Snip snip... plop plop..." Watanabe and Sumiyoshi winced, crossing their legs uncomfertablely. The Ropponmatsu's and Matsuya giggled, doing their work. Iwata yelped, and walked back to his desk. At the end of the day, Liana was the last one out of the office. As she closed the door, she yelped, covering her heart, seeing Matsuya.  
  
"H-H-Hello, Matsuya..." Matsuya smiled.  
  
"Sorry. I just wanted to congratulate you on defending yourself against Iwata." Matsuya smiled, and started to walk off. "Bye bye, Liana..." Liana nodded, and went the other way.  
  
"I'm home! With the groceries!"  
  
"Wheee! Food!" Excel ran out of the room, running outside to get the other bags. After a half an hour, the refridgeator was full, as well as the cabinets. Liana was cooking spagehtti with crab.  
  
"Dinner's ready!" Liana said, setting two pots on the table. Hyatt smiled, sitting down, as Excel followed. Liana made their plates, then sat down, making her own. Excel started to eat, taking her fifth serving when Liana was on her third, and Hyatt was on her second, due to the fact that she died, and fell in the middle of her plate.  
  
"Thank you for this blessed food!" Excel said, patting her stomach. Liana smiled, and picked up the dirty dishes.  
  
"Menchi! I have something for you!" Menchi slowly walked into the kitchen, and looked down at the sudden bowl that was in front of her. Real dog food! Liana patted Menchi's head, and walked out of the kitchen, into the bathroom. All three women where in the bathroom. Liana was brushing her teeth, Hyatt was taking her nightly pills, and Excel was in the shower, her first time using scented body wash. They rotated, only Hyatt was taking a shower, and brushing her teeth at the same time, while Liana watched her, so she didn't die. Liana took off her clothes, then wrapped herself in a towel, waiting for Hyatt to get out. Excel was brushing her teeth. She looked at Liana, and blushed uncontrolablely, and looked away, glancing at her. Wow... She has the perfect body... Liana helped Hyatt dry off, and put her pajamas on, then helped her to her futon. Liana came back in the bathroom, took of the towel, and got in the shower, sighing softly. Excel's body went wild, loving Liana's sound. Excel cleared her throat, and shuddered, putting her toothbrush down.  
  
"Hey, Excel?" Excel blinked.  
  
"Y-Yeah?" Liana stuck her head out.  
  
"Could you hand my that purple bottle?" Excel nodded, reaching up for the bottle. She handed it to Liana, their hands brushing against each others. Liana smiled, and continued what she was doing in the shower. Excel's heart fluttered, her stomach doing loops. She walked out the bathroom, walking to her futon. She crawled into it, and looked at the ceiling. After a few minutes, she heard footsteps, and someone get into their futon. Excel blinked, and shuddered, smelling something intoxicatingly heavenly. She opened her eyes, and looking over at Liana. Liana was asleep. Excel smiled, and turned over, facing her. Liana groaned slightly, turning on her side, facing Excel. Excel meeped quietly, looking at Liana's face. Liana's lips were parted slightly, her breath minty fresh. Excel gulped, turning red again. Liana's hand was above her head. Excel slowly reached out, and laid her hand on top of Liana's falling asleep slowly. 


	2. Interagation

"Mmph... What's going on?" Liana mumbled, sitting up slightly. She looked dowm at Excel, who was still asleep, gently holding Liana's hand. Liana smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She got up, folding her futon. She stood up, and walked into the kitchen, starting to fix breakfast. After breakfast was made, she boiled water for tea.  
  
"Miss Liana?" Hyatt said weakly, slowly walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, good morning, Miss Hyatt." Liana smiled, pouring the water into three small cups. Excel was folding her futon, when Hyatt and Liana came in the room, carrying a tray with the food.  
  
"Ooo... Breakfast. What is it?" Excel asked, looking at the tray.  
  
"Rice with bacon and eggs." Liana said, sitting down slowly. Excel wacthed Liana, blushing slightly.  
  
"We must make haste. We have a meeting with Lord Il Palazzo soon." Excel and Liana nodded, quickly eating. Liana looked at the extra food.  
  
"Do think Lord Il Palazzo would like the rest of the food and tea?" Excel smiled, eyes bright.  
  
"Suuure! Maybe we can get praised!" Excel said, running into the bathroom, to take a quick shower. Liana giggled, knowing that Excel was having fun with the scented body soap. Hyatt cleaned up, as Liana made a bowl, filling it to the top with rice, then laying back and eggs on it. After putting the chopsticks on top, she walked back into the room, and took off her pajamas, pulling on her uniform. She clasped the front, then sighed. Excel walked out the bathroom, sighing, satisfied.  
  
"Excel feels so much better!" She shook her head, and sat down, closing her eyes, as Hyatt started braidng her hair. Liana groaned, trying to reach the clasps in the back of her uniform. Excel slowly opened her eyes, crawling over to Liana, as Hyatt finished her hair.  
  
"Shall Excel help?" Excel asked, looking at the clasps on Liana's back.  
  
"Oh, would you, please?" Liana looked back at Excel. Excel nodded, gently tugging at the clasps. She sighed, finally getting one together. She gulped slightly, her fingers brushing against Liana's soft skin. After Excel got all the clasps together, she sat back, watching Liana.  
  
"Thank you, Excel..." Liana said, standing up, putting her boots on. Excel nodded, putting on her uniform.

"HAIL, LORD IL PALAZZO!" Excel yelled, raising her hand in the air.  
  
"Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil Iiiiil Paaalaaaaaaazzzzzzooooooo....Gah!" Hyatt coughed, falling to the floor in a dead coma.  
  
"Hail, Lord Il Palazzo." Liana said, raising her hand slightly.  
  
"Good morning, ladies! Did you all sleep well last night?" Lord Il Palazzo asked, looking up slightly. Excel blinked, then smiled.  
  
"Excel slept great! First Excel took a shower with a scented body wash, and she washed her hair with shampoo!" Lord Il Palazzo blinked, raising an eyebrow slightly.  
  
"A shower?" He looked toward Liana, who was blinking at him.  
  
"Oh! Liana made a breakfast bowl for you, sir!" Excel exclaimed, before kneeling next to Hyatt, poking her.  
  
"Yes, I did, sir. It's from our extra breakfast from this morning." Liana picked up a bag next to her feet, and slowly walked up to Il Palazzo, handing him the bag, bowing slightly. She walked back to her spot, hands to her side. Il Palazzo opened the bag, and started drooling in his mouth, seeing the rice, bacon, and eggs. He picked up the chopsticks that were in the bag, and slowly started to eat, feeling his growling stomach calm down.  
  
"This is really good, Liana." She nodded.  
  
"There's tea in the bag, too, sir." He nodded. After he finished the bowl, he downed the tea, stood up, coughing slightly.  
  
"Ladies... Today's mission is to infiltrate the government!" Liana blinked, and raised her hand.  
  
"Sir. I work for the government, so, shall I continue what I'm doing?" Il Palazzo nodded.  
  
"Hyatt and Excel, I want you two to go with Liana, and learn."  
  
"YES, SIR!"  
  
"Excel before you go..." Excel turned around, looking at Il Palazzo.  
  
"Yes, sir?" "Tell me about this shower..." Excel blinked, rubbing the back of her neck.  
  
"Well, Sir... Excel really don't know how to explain it, 'cause she don't know how to." She blinked, looking at him, grinning in her mind.  
  
"But, if you were to come to our "secret hideout" Excel could show you!"  
  
Il Palazzo blinked, but nodded. "Fine. I shall see you at your hideout around 6:30...ish..." He blinked, furrowing his brow. Excel turned around, walking to the door, only to scream, as she plumeted down the pit.  
  
"I want you to never think like that ever again, Excel!" Il Palazzo said, his eyebrow twitching. Excel crawled back up, clams clamped to her body.  
  
"Excle'll be carful, Sir." She stood up, walking out the door, shaking the clams off of her.

At the office, however, Liana was walking down the hall with Hyatt, who had changed into a long black skirt, a white lace dress shirt, over a black t-shirt, and her glasses, her hair pulled back in a tight bun.  
  
"Uhm... Where is Senior Excel?" She asked, holding a clipboard to her chest. Liana shrugged.  
  
"WAAAAAAAAIT FOR EXCEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!" Hyatt and Liana quickly turned around, seeing Excel run down the hall. She skidded to a halt, placing her hands on her knees, breathing heavily.  
  
"Excel... Called and called... But got... no answer..." Excel fell over, red in the face. Liana giggled, holding her hand to Excel, who took it, trying to get up, but instead pulling Liana down. They stared at each other, Excel getting even redder in the face, feeling Liana's lips on hers. Liana slowly pulled back, blushing madly, helping Excel up.  
  
"Uhm... There's a water in the room..." Liana looked at the door, nervously. Excel nodded, dusting off her black pants and black button up shirt. Liana opened the room, slowly pushing in the other two.  
  
"I have two guests visiting. This is Miss Ayasugi and this is Miss Eh- chan." Liana said, resting her hands on Excel and Hyatt's shoulders. Excel and Hyatt waved slightly, glancing around the room. Watanabe's heart raced, looking at Hyatt lovingly.  
  
"Erm... Liana, do you want to take one person? I'll be happy to take Miss Ayasugi." Iwata, Sumiyoshi, Matsuya and the Ropponmatsus' snickered, doing their work silently. Liana blinked, but nodded.  
  
"Sure, I guess that'll be fine. Miss Ayasugi, do you mind?"  
  
Hyatt was staring at Watanabe. "Hmm? No, not at all." She slowly walked over to his desk, sitting down next to him. Excel looked at the other five people.  
  
"Who does Eh work with?" She asked, looking at Liana. Liana shrugged. Excel looked around, then spotted Ropponmatsu Two. She screamed, clinging to Liana, who fell face first on her desk.  
  
"OW!" Blood suddenly poured down her desk.  
  
--::sigh:: The Great Will's work is never done!--  
  
Liana was suddenly sitting at her desk, the blood was gone, and Excel was sitting next to Liana, watching her crunch numbers for taxes. Excel sighed boredly, laying her head on the desk.  
  
"Can Excel go home now?" Excel asked, blinking, as Liana turned to face her. Liana shook her head, pushing the book towards Excel.  
  
"This... can tell us how much money F spends on unnecessary items. This... Can show us how many times the average person in F can die in a car crash." Excel blinked, pulling out a piece of paper, writting the figures down.

Across the room, Watanabe was showing Hyatt his journal. Hyatt nodded, every five minutes to what he said. She looked at her watch. "Uhm... Miss Liana?" Liana looked at her. "We have to go now. It's 5:30." Hyatt made a small salute on her waist. Liana blinked, then nodded.  
  
"I'll take you two home." Liana closed her book, Excel standing up and walking out the door behind Hyatt. Liana waved to her co-workers, then closed the door. Iwata slunked up to Watanabe.  
  
"Sooo... Did you hold her hand yet?" Watanabe laughed.  
  
"At least I don't smacked when trying to flirt." Iwata balled up his fists.  
  
"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Matsuya smirked.  
  
"Just what he said. You have no way of getting a woman with your so-called jigallo act." Iwata's heart cracked. He looked at Matsuya, smirking. "Well, fine then." He sat down, ignoring everyone as he did his work.

"Okay, Excel. Tell me again. Who's coming over?" Liana asked, looking in the rear veiw mirror, looking at Excel.  
  
"For the last time, Lord Il Palazzo is coming over! He asked Excel what a shower was, and Excel told him he could come over to expericence a shower!" Liana sighed, pulling up into the parking lot.  
  
"Well, let's hurry up and get ready for him. And grab Hyatt so no one mistakes her for a dead body."


	3. A Special Day

Getting ready for Lord Il Palazzo's visit, Liana was helping Excel put on a long, light blue summer dress. Hyatt was laying down on the couch that had arrived earlier that day. Liana was changing her earring in her left ear. Excel watched her, then held up a tube of eye liner. It was 6:15 when Liana, Excel and Hyatt were ready. Dinner was done. Le Corden Bleu, to be exact. Excel was helping Liana set the table, while Hyatt sat on the couch, looking a bit sick. The bell rang at exactly 6:30. Liana stood up, slowly walking to the door. She opened it, amazed, at seeing Il Palazzo wearing something besides a long cloak and a suit underneath. Il Palazzo looked down at Liana, his hair in a low ponytail. He smiled slightly, putting his hands in his blue jean pockets, after fixing his button up white shirt.  
  
"Sorry, I'm late," He said, looking at Liana over his glasses. "I kinda got lost." Liana nodded slightly, letting him in.  
  
_He's just a big kid in grown up clothes!_ Liana thought to herself, closing the door as he stepped in. Excel looked over at Il Palazzo, and blushed, never seeing him out his uniform.  
  
"Hello, Lord Il Palazzo, sir!" Excel exclaimed, standing up, saluting him. Il Palazzo blinked, nodding to her. Hyatt smiled, then coughed, falling onto the floor. Liana sighed. "And I just vaccumed the carpet, too..." She walked back into the kitchen. Il Palazzo sat next to Excel, his hands in his lap.  
  
"You have a very nice place, Excel." He smiled at her. Excel's heart fluttered as she smiled back. She looked at the floor, then closed her eyes.  
  
_ "Exceeeeeeel!" Excel looked up, seeing Liana running toward her. Excel smiled, standing up, holding a basket of flowers in her arms.  
"Excel!" She looked over to her left, seeing Il Palazzo standing, in nothing but a towel. She looked back to Liana then back to Il Palazzo. She closed her eyes, then opened them, looking around. She was in a room... She sat up, seeing a few candels lit on a desk. She looked down to her left, seeing Liana asleep under a sheet, her hair covering her face slightly, her lips parted a bit. Excel smiled, then looked to her right, then yelped, seeing Il Palazzo, under a sheet as well, his hands on Excel's thigh, it seemed.  
_  
Excel slowly opened her eyes, her face hot, the inside of her legs wet. She gulped, looking up. Liana was standing in front of her.  
  
"Well, welcome back to reality! It's time to eat." Liana smiled at Excel, walking to the table. Excel nodded, standing up, but nearly tripping over the still dead Hyatt. She shook her head, walking over to the table. She at the end of the table, Il Palazzo and Liana in her view. Liana was making the plates and pouring tea into everyone's cups.  
  
"Thank you for this blessed food!" Excel said, cheerfully, as she started to eat, slowly today, because her Lord was here. Il Palazzo nodded in agreement, then started to eat, glancing at Liana a few times. He smiled slightly, looking back at his plate.  
  
_ "Lord Il Palazzo?" He looked up from his plate, seeing Liana and Excel standing there, wearing what seemed to be a sheer white toga. They smiled at him. "Your bath is ready, sir." Excel said, moving out the way, pointing to a rather large bath, filled to the brim with bubbles. Excel and Liana helped take off his clothes, then helped take off each others togas. They slowly walked Il Palazzo to the tub, giggling as they helped him into the bubbles. They sat in front of him, smiling at him, before they started kissing each other._  
  
He laughed slightly, his nose dripping with crimson.  
  
"Lord Il Palazzo, are you okay? Your nose is bleeding." He blinked, noticing the small red puddle of blood on his plate. He held his nose. "Sorry." Excel picked her napkin, gently brushing his hand away, then holding the napkin to Il Palazzo's nose. He looked at her, which made Excel blush, smiling at him slightly.  
  
"Excel doesn't want her Lord to have a sudden fever on her." Liana stood up, grabbing everyone's plates, (except Hyatt's, who was still out cold on the floor). Liana walked into the kitchen, washing the dishes, leaving Excel and Il Palazzo in the room alone. She cursed at herself under her breath. God, how she wanted Il Palazzo for her own. She put away the dishes after they were dry, then leaned against the counter, looking at the floor.  
  
_ "Agent Liana!" Liana looked up, seeing Il Palazzo sitting his chair... with just his cloak on, which was open, exposing everything. She blinked, her face turning red. "Y-Yes, S-Sir?" He smiled at her, walking down to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She stared up at him, wide-eyed. He leaned down, kissing her softly. She kissed back, closing her eyes_.  
  
"Hail, Lord Il Palazzo..." They turned, seeing Excel, naked as the day she was born. Liana's heart jumped, seeing Excel like she always wanted to see her. The next thing she knew, they were laying in the same bed, Il Palazzo in the middle, Excel and Liana's head on his broad chest.  
  
Liana snapped out of it, shaking her head. She walked back into the living room, seeing Excel still nurturing Il Palazzo's bloody nose. They looked at Liana and smiled. She smiled back, sitting down next to them.  
  
"I'm sorry about my accident. I was in thought." Il Palazzo apoliogized.  
  
"It's alright, Sir! Excel doesn't mind!" Excel exclaimed, crossing her legs. Il Palazzo looked at her legs, the dress covering up her most her thighs. His nose started gushing crimson again. Liana snickered.  
  
"How long are you staying, Sir?" Liana asked, looking at the wall ahead.  
  
"Well, I wasn't hoping to be a burden, but I was wondering if I could stay the night..." Excel and Liana almost fell over, their hearts almost beating out of their chests.  
  
"Uhm... Well, sure. Is that fine with you, Excel?" Liana managed to blurt, looking at Excel. Excel nodded weakly.  
  
"Excel... Is going to go take a shower now!" Excel got up, walking out of the room, slamming the bathroom door. Liana looked at Hyatt, then poked her. Hyatt's eyes slowly opened.  
  
"Oh, my... How long was I gone?" Liana sighed.  
  
"Long enough to pass dinner, Miss Hyatt. Uhm... Lord Il Palazzo is staying with us tonight." Hyatt blinked, slowly sitting up.  
  
"In that case, Hyatt with go as Mr. Watanabe for an extra futon." She stood up, walking out to the deck. She walked next door, then gently knocked at the door.  
  
"Look! I don't want any more of your fu-- Miss Ayasugi?!" Watanabe stammered, as he opened the door. Hyatt smiled, then fainted, falling into Wanatabe's arms. He stared at her wide-eyed, then looked around, before dragging her into his apartmnet.  
  
Meanwhile, in the apartment, the other three where playing Go Fish, waiting for Hyatt to get the extra futon.  
  
"Liana, do you got any threes?" Excel asked, looking over her cards. Liana blinked.  
  
"Go fish... Do you think she got lost?" Excel pulled out a card from the pile.  
  
"Excel doubts it... She probally died... Excel is getting tired of going to the berevment room." Il Palazzo snickered.  
  
"Got any sevens, Excel? Well, what if someone picked her up?" Excel handed him two of her cards.  
  
"Doubt it... She'd probally die half way in the car." Beer cans were all over the table, some on the floor. Liana laughe, as she took another sip from her beer can.  
  
"Maybe Hyatt is..." She giggled, Excel watching her, then started laughing, realizing with Liana was talking about. Il Palazzo blinked, lost.  
  
"What is Hyatt doing?" Excel and Liana howled with laughed, falling over on the floor, their faces red, from the alcohol and the laughing. Il Palazzo frowned, taking another swig of his beer.  
  
However, back in Watanabe's apartment, Hyatt was laying on the couch, dead as dead could get, as Watanabe was huddled in the corner with fear.  
  
"Oh, jeez, I killed the woman I love!" He started to cry wateralls. "Why does this happen to meeee?!"  
  
"Mr... Watanabe?" Watanabe froze, then slowly turned around, seeing Hyatt sitting up straight rubbing her eyes. He screamed like a little school girl, jumping up, clawing at the wall. His door thrusted open. Watanabe looked at the person walking into his apartment.  
  
"IWATA! MISS AYASUGI IS--"  
  
"SHUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!" Iwata smacked Watanabe across the face with what seemed to be Sumiyoshi.  
  
The three in room 204, blinked at the wall, sweatdropping slightly.  
  
"Excel's neighbors keep getting weirder and weirder..." Liana nodded, looking around.  
  
"Where's Menchi?" 


	4. Is There a Jackhammer in my Head?

"_Menchi. Menchi... Wake up, Menchi..._"  
Menchi, the funny looking mutt from chapter one, slowly opened her eyes, looking at the vast darkness, expect for the Milky Way that stared in front of her.   
"_You mustn't die, Menchi..."_ Menchi barked, her eyes watering._  
"Why? Because no one is going to eat you._" Menchi barked a few more times.  
"_LOOK! I'M NOT THE ONE SETTING THE RULES HERE!_" Menchi whimpered, cowering. The Milky Way ... thingy opened its arm that weren't there before.  
"_I am the Great Will of the Macrocossim. And with my great powers, I shall reset the story all over again..._" It sighed.  
  
Menchi blinked, looking around the forest. She got up, slowly trudging down the path. She looked around, then yelped, hearing the bushes next to her rustle. A red dog with a green X in the middle of its forehead walked out of the bushes, shaking slightly. Menchi's eyes got wide. She barked. The red dog blinked at her.  
"Menchi? Is that you?"  
"Arf arf arf!"  
The red dog, called Wolf (Ref. Eps. 10), smiled at Menchi.  
"How are you Menchi?" Menchi got on her hind legs, running over to Wolf. Wolf smiled as Menchi hugged him, tears rolling down her muzzle.

But, dreams can only last so long. Menchi was curled up under the rug in the bathroom, fast asleep. In the living room, however, Liana, Excel and Il Palazzo were thinking about playing a game of Strip Poker. Liana laughed, clinging to her futon. Excel was in a long t-shirt, her pajamas. Il Palazzo however was sitting there quietly, eyeing both of the young women.  
"So, what are we gonna play until Hyatt comes back with the ::hic:: fuuuuuton?" Liana asked, drunk off her ass. Excel snorted, rolling around the floor.  
"Maybe we should go look for her... Naked." Excel giggled, sitting up, pulling her hair out of its braid. She shook her head. Liana crawled over to Excel and started to play with her hair. Il Palazzo felt drool fall down the side of his mouth. He shook his head, wiping his mouth.  
"M-Maybe she's--" Il Palazzo was cut short when a sudden "AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! MOTHER LAND!! ::gurgle:: MISS AYASUGI!!!" and a "WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, ALREADY, WATANABE!!" came from next door. Liana and Excel screamed, getting up and running next door. Liana kicked the door open. She walked into the room. Excel right behind her, glaring. Iwata looked up from choking Watanabe, who was choking back, looking at the outline of the two women. Their eyes were red. Excel walked over to Hyatt, grabbed her arm and walked out, dragging Hyatt, who woke up from her coma.  
"But, Hyatt didn't ask for an extra futon!"  
"SHUDDUP HYATT AND GET IN THE HOUSE!" Excel closed the door behind her, leaving Liana in with the men, a smirk on her face.  
"So... You bring my roomate in your apartment... and lay her on the couch. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" She kicked both of them in head, then left... but came back, grabbing the extra futon, then slamming the door.  
  
Back in room 204, Hyatt was sitting in the corner, crying.  
"Hyatt didn't mean to be gone so long! She fainted!" Excel rolled her eyes, sitting on the floor, across from Il Palazzo, who was chugging another beer. Liana came back in, setting the futon onto the floor.  
"I'm gonna take a shower now..." Liana walked into the bathroom. She squealed a few minutes later, running out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her. She fell into Il Palazzo's lap. Menchi slowly walked out of the bathroom, then sat in the corner of kitchen, falling asleep again. Liana panted. Her eyes grew wide, when she felt something poke her in the side. She quickly fell out of Il Palazzo's lap.  
"I-I'm sorry, Sir!"  
Il Palazzo, however, fell backward onto the couch, his nose acting like a fountain of crimson. Excel shrieked, running to get a few paper towels and clogging his nose. Liana rushed back into the bathroom, jumping in the shower.  
"SIR! YOUR NOSE!" Excel cried out, trying to hold Il Palazzo still, as he started to convusle. Hyatt died from fright. Excel growled, pinning him to the couch and pushing the paper towels into the nose.  
"There..." She smiled, then yelped getting pulled down and getting kissed. Her face turned red, but kissed back gently, then pulled back, falling on the floor with a thud. She blinked up at the ceiling. Liana walked out of the bathroom, drying her hair off. She looked at Excel, who's face was still red, then at Il Palazzo, who's face was also red, but from the blood.  
"What's going on?" Liana asked, placing a hand on her hip. Excel looked up at her, then clung to her leg. Il Palazzo blinked, slowly sitting up.  
"Everything is fine." He said, casually, taking the paper towels out of his nose. Liana looked down at Excel, who was shaking her head slightly.  
"He... he did this to me!" Excel made her lips like a fish. Liana raised an eyebrow.  
"He made you do the fish face?" Liana asked, blinking.  
"No no no no! He did this to Excel!" She turned around, wrapping her arms around herself, moving her hands up and down her back. Liana scratched the back of her head.  
"Uh... I'm not good at this game."  
"Dammit, woman, he kissed me!" Liana froze, looking at Excel then at Lord Il Palazzo. Her lip trembled.   
"I...I..." She laughed, shaking her head. "I can't belive you! You... Go to a hotel or something..." She pointed to Il Palazzo, then at the door.  
"But, Liana..." He pleaded, looking at her.  
"But, nothing! How could you do that to her?! Are you going to mess with her heart forever?!" She held Excel in her arms, who blushed deeply, leaning into the embrace. He looked at both the women, then sighed, walking to the door slowly.  
"Fine...." He slipped his shoes on, then grabbed the door knob. Excel sighed, crawling into her futon, falling asleep. Liana got up, then walked outside, watching Il Palazzo walk down the stairs.  
"Uhm... Sir...?" Liana whispered, crossing her arms. Il Palazzo slowly turned around, looking up at her.  
"Yes, what is it, Liana?"  
Liana bit her lip, shifting a bit.  
"I'm sorry for lashing out like that... I just don't want her to get hurt..."  
Il Palazzo blinked, slowly walking up to her.  
"Do you have feelings for Excel...?" He asked, studying her face. She turned her head, looking at the ground.  
"And if I do?" She mummbled, crossing her arms tighter. He nodded slightly, stuffing a hand in his pocket.  
"I didn't say anything was wrong with it..." He said, looking at her. She looked up at him, then gasped, as he kissed her gently. She closed her eyes, leaning into the kiss slightly. He slowly pulled away, looking at her. She opened her eyes, looking at him, her eyes glazing over slightly.  
"S-Sir....You c-can stay if...if you want..." She whispered, looking at the ground. Il Palazzo blinked, then reached over, cupping her chin in his hand, moving her head to look at her.  
"I'll just get a room at a hotel. But, thank you for having me over." He said, his lips brushing against her cheek, making her shudder.  
"G-Goodnight, Sir..." She said, pulling away, slowly walking back into the apartment. She closed the door, leaning against it. She shook her head, walking into the living room, rolling out of futon, then crawling in, laying next to Excel.  
  
"Orangeessss!! Orangessss!! Orange juice for breakfast with real orrraaaangeeeesss!!" Excel sang, slightly out of tune, as she held an ice pack to her head, holding a glass of orange in the other. Liana was still asleep on the floor, but slowly woke up after a few minutes, due to the sudden pain her head.  
"Oooowwww... My head hurts..." Liana sat up, rubbing her head, then looking over at Excel, who was sitting on her futon, the top buttons of her shirt unbuttoned, revealing her wonderful cleavage. Liana shook her head, wincing.  
"Ooooo, hang-over..." Liana laid back down, then blinked as a sudden coldness fell onto her forehead. She looked up at Excel, who was bent over Liana holding the ice pack in place.  
"Excel will get you some juice and some asprin..." Excel got up, walking over Liana, who got a glimpse of her pink panties. Liana closed her eyes, then sighed, hearing Excel making a small ruckus in the kitchen. Excel came back with a red glass, and the bottle of asprin. She laid Liana's head on her knees, then opened her mouth, sticking two asprin on Liana's tounge, then pouring some of the juice into her mouth. Liana swallowed slowly, then sighed, nuzzling Excel's knees. Excel smiled, playing with Liana's hair, then laying down next to her, both of them falling asleep once more. 


	5. Oh, Iwata

"AND WHY ARE MY TWO AGENTS LATE!?" Lord Il Palazzo demanded, standing up quickly, his cloak making a _whoosh_ing noise. Liana and Excel whimpered, holding their heads, their hangovers not complete fizzled out.  
"Sir, I'm sorry. We had a really bad hangover this morning, and didn't realize the time." Liana whispered, looking at the floor. Excel glancd at Liana, making a small noise, before holding her head low.  
"Excel is also sorry, Sir. Excel will try to be more attentive."  
Il Palazzo stared at the two girls, the sadness on their faces making his heart drop, especialy from Excel. Her gold hair hanging down the sides of her face, the braid slowly falling down her left shoulder. He sighed, reaching up, pulling the rope slowly, hearing Excel scream as she fell down the pit. Liana yelped, feeling the floor beneath her shift slightly. She looked down the pit.  
"Senior Excel!!!" She jumped down the pit, screaming. Excel looked up from fighting a rather large fish, only to yelp as she was landed on. She blinked, looking up at Liana, eyes wide, as she felt Liana's lips against her's. Excel slowly closed her eyes, pressing back, slowly wrapping her arms around Liana's neck. Liana sighed happily, holding Excel's waist, slowly pulling her up.  
"Excel..." Liana said softly, pulling away from the kiss for a moment, before kissing her again. Excel moaned softly, feeling Liana's hand slowly slide up the front of her uniform, resting on her right breast.   
"Excel... Yoo hoo!! Wake up! We're gonna be late."  
Excel slowly opened her eyes, closing them again as the sun blinded her. She groaned, slowly sitting up running a hand through her hair.   
"What's going on?" She mumbled. Liana was sitting on the floor next to her, brushing her hair.  
"Lord Il Palazzo called a few minutes ago. He wants to see us in an half an hour." Liana got up, pulling on her uniform. Excel slowly crawled out of her futon, sighing softly, rolling up her futon, then putting it in the corner of the room, slowly standing up, stretching.  
"What did he say exactly, Li-chan?" Liana shrugged, pulling on her boots.  
"He said it was urgent."  
Excel nodded, pulling off her shirt, standing there in nothing but her pink panties. Liana looked up at her, then looked away, her face turning crimson. She glanced at Excel, staring down at her chest, Excel's pink nipples slightly hard. Liana moaned softly, then looked away again, biting her lip, placing her hands in her lap. Excel took off her panties, then walked right past Liana, who was wide-eyed with disbelife. Liana sighed, smelling Excel's scent. Excel came back few minutes later, her uniform on, her hair in its braid. Liana stood up walking with Excel out the front door. Liana came back in a few seconds later, grabbing Hyatt's dead body.

"Good afternoon, ladies. I take it that your heads feel better," Il Palazzo said, glancing at the only standing women. Liana and Excel nodded, grinning nervously. Il Palazzo eyed Liana, who was looking straight ahead. He looked at Excel, who was, once again, poking Hyatt's dead body. He stood up, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  
"Today's mission... Is to go over seas, to talk to the president."  
Liana looked up, slowly raising her hand.  
"Sir, a question."  
"Ask."  
"I left America to get from the corrupt society. There are hookers on each corner, the children sell drugs on ever other corner, and their's always the school girls hanging out at the other other corners," Liana stated, looking at Lord Il Palazzo, who had a small sweat drop falling down the back of his head.  
"Also, the President is cheating on his wife with some whore from a corner, his daughters are also whores, and his wife is basically running the country."  
"I...See..." Lord Il Palazzo blinked, then shook his head. "Then, that plan has failed..." He sat down, staring at the floor. He sighed, closing his eyes, sleep suddenly taking him over. "You may go now ladies..."  
The women nodded, before picking Hyatt, walking away.

"Did you notice that Lord Il Palazzo looked tired today?" Excel asked, glancing over at Liana, who had her eyes on the road as she drove down the highway. Liana shrugged. "I guess so... But, he's busy and doesn't sleep much, I'm guessing..."  
"Do you think we should let him stay with us? AH!" Excel yelped, as Liana nearly swerved into a semi truck. Liana's hands shook on the steering wheel, her thoughts travling back to the night before. Excel stared at Liana.  
"What's wrong?!" Excel whimpered, slowly coming to her senses. Liana blinked, slowly turning her head to Excel, but keeping her eyes on the road.  
"It's nothing... Just kinda spaced out. Sorry..." Liana whispered, turning her head to the road again. Excel nodded slightly, placing her hands in her lap. As they pulled up into the parking lot to the apartment, Excel blinked, looking up at the two story building. Something was different about it. She could sense it. Liana slowly pulled Hyatt out the backseat, carrying her in her arms. Slowly walking up the steps, a door opened. Iwata, Watanabe and Sumiyoshi slowly stepped out from the apartment. Iwata and Watanabe jumped, staring at Liana, who just stared ahead, waiting for Excel to unlock the door. Iwata and Watanabe stared at Liana, who sighed, throwing her head back to get her hair out of her face as she slowly walked into the apartment. Iwata and Watanabe sighed, then blinked. Sumiyoshi raised an eyebrow.  
"What was that all about?" Sumiyoshi asked. Iwata and Watanabe shook their heads. Matsuya walked out of her apartment. She stared at the males.  
"Good morning, gentlemen. Iwata." She smiled at them. Sumiyoshi and Watanbe waved at Matsuya, while Iwata acted like he didn't even notice she was there.  
"Let's go guys. Don't wanna be late." Iwata said, in a slight monotone voice. Watanbe and Sumiyoshi looked at each other, then at Iwata, then at Matsuya. She shrugged, watching the other two walk after Iwata. Matsuya coughed, rubbing her arms, fighting back painful tears.


	6. RANDOM!

Excel: We've come acourtin'!  
Liana: We came to woo some people! WHAT!  
Excel: I have no flippin' idea anymore! starts running around with a spork  
Liana: ...Anyway... This is just gonna be some random chapter, okay! ...hears crickets chirp ...I hate you all so very much...

**President Yugi was ASS-ASS-INATED?**

Yugi: Today is such a lovely day, Yami! holds Yami Yugi's hand  
Yami: Yeah... leans over and kisses Yugi

**BANG... Do do do do do do.. bowowowowowow... Oh right...**

Yugi: falls over, all diead and stoof  
Yami: Nuuuuuuuuuuu!... Oh, well! skips off to Starbucks Lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa!

-Meanwhile, at ACROSS Private Eye!-

Excel: on the phone WHAT! You say that President Yugi Moto, the adorable little high school student, with the weird coloured, spikey hair was ASS-ASS-INATED!  
Person on the other side of the phone: Erm, yesfrom what we can tell it's a bullet wound.  
Excel: A BULLET WOUND! You don't say!  
PoToSoTP: Yes, I do say!  
Excel: No you don't!  
PoToSoTP: Yes, I do!  
Excel: Nuh-uh!  
PoToSoTP: YES HUH!  
Excel: Okay, fine! Why did you call me!  
PoToSoTP: Well, we were just wondering if you could find who did it. We'll pay you gr  
Excel: FEAR NOT, CITIZEN! I, EXCEL EXCEL, WILL BE THERE IN A JIFFY! slams the phone down on its craddle  
Hyatt: What shall we do, Sencoughs, and falls over, bleeding from the mouth  
Excel: DEAR, GOSH! HYATT HAS FALLEN OVER...Again... Ah, well... pulls on her trench coat, and puffs on her pipe... then coughs up a lung ...Ow... Kids, don't smoke.

-At the cri-ume scene!-

Excel: looks over the chalk sketch Hrrrrrrrrrrrrm...mmmmm...mmm...chews on a donut Glazed...  
Sheriff: What the blazes are you doing! ...Can I have a donut?  
Excel: NO! runs off with the box of various donut assorments THEY ALL MIIIIIIIINE!

-Meanwhile, Lord Il Palazzo was!-

IP: ...Hmmmm... playing the video game from episode four Kick... Punch... Slap... Or put it in...  
Video Game Excel: laying on Il Palazzo's bed, wearing lazy red undies Oh... Big brother.. I have wanted you like this... for so very long...  
IP: ... eye twitches ... God dammit, which one!  
Video Game Hyatt: Oh, Il Pala, sir...  
BAD END!  
IP: ...Aw, hell...

-Meanwhile, Ropponmatsu and Iwata were!-

Ropponmatsu: OH! Senior Iwata... Mmm... That was wonderful...  
Iwata: Yeah... kisses Ropponmatsu's cheek  
Ropponmatsu: I wanna do it again! is Ropponmatsu 2  
Iwata: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! runs out the apartment, all nekkid and whatnot  
Matsuya: .. Scary... I think I saw my life flash before my eyes...

-Meanwhile, Liana was!-

Liana: sits there, on the couch, glaring at a blank TV Shall I dare watch it? ...Shall I? turns on the TV  
TV people: OH GOD! FUCK ME! YES!  
Liana: O.O WHO CHANGED THE TAPES! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE TELLITUBIES! tries to turn off the TV, but it won't shut off ;-; MAKE THE MADNESS STOOOOOOOOP!  
TV chick: Please don't take out the eggplant!

-Back the the cri-ume scene!-

Excel: puffs on bubble pipe Hmm... It seems he was shot in the head... But if he was... there would be blood splatter all over the concrete... So that means... Someone has blood on them!

-At the Moto residence-

Yami: yawns, and stretches, then screams in pain, clutching his chest, which is bleeding profusly YUGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII gasps for breath IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! dies

**TO BE CONTINUED!**

Liana: That... was stupid...  
Excel: Yeah, no kidding...


End file.
